If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy...

A few people have said to me that if you can survive a break up in Taiwan, you can do it anywhere. Really its a silly thing to say- of course I am going to survive, I am not going to die, and I am not going anywhere-what else do you do but survive? But there is a point behind it, this is not the real world. The dynamic here is SO much different! First off is the basic demographics. There is not a huge number of foriegners here, and it is a pretty inscestuous group at times. Now the foriegn guys have options. There is a whole contingency of Taiwanese girls waiting to date, or shag a foriegn guy. Even if the Taiwanese guys were into foriegn girls-which for the most part, they are not, most of them are to short, petite and feminine for our taste, not to mention the language barrier which foriegn girls seem more concerned about that foriegn guys. So we have a small number of foriegn guys left, with a large number of foriegn girls.

Some guys deny that there is that much of a difference-or say that it is an even playing field here. The field may be even, but it is a whole different game!! I am not saying that I couldnt get a shag if I really tried, but the fact is, I would have to either try, or lower my standards-not willing to do either at this point. The small number of guys that are left stand back with this too cool come and get it attitude. We put our finger on it the other day. You don't feel sexy going out here. You don't ever feel sexy here. I didnt really notice too much before because of all I could say about 'him', he made me feel sexy!!

It's not that I think I am hot shit by any means but when I walk into a bar at home, or even down the street I feel eyes on my-I feel sexy. When I was in Thailand I smiled at a guy walking down the street and he turned and walked the other way with me. He didnt try and shag me, but he made me feel sexy. When I walk into a pub or bar here, I don't feel myself getting checked out at all - you might get an inviting glance, but I would never want to feed the ego. At home if I am ordering a drink at the bar and a guy comes up beside me, I will often chat-not necessarily even flirting, just a chat. I never do that here because right away these guys assume you are hitting on them. A couple of nights ago Lisa and I were waiting outside the bar for a friend and this average at best guy walks by and said "Sorry ladies, not tonight!" What the fuck!! We weren't looking to pull, we were waiting for our (MALE) friends!! But that is the attitude that prevails here. You might meet a guy, you might chat with someone, you might even get a random shag or snog, but on a daily basis that need for sexual affirmation is not filled. It is not just ego - my students, random young women and even a few groups of young men will walk up to me and tell me that I am beautiful-but I don't feel sexy. I miss feeling sexy!!