For Everything Gained...

I rocked up to a new tea place to order my "I don't have time to eat today" tea; pearl/bubble (little balls of black starch) milk tea. The following conversation happened completely in Chinese.

What do you want to drink?
Pearl milk tea, half sugar.
Small or large?
Large.
Do you want ice in that?
A little bit of ice.
Do you want the big pearl or the small pearls?

this one stumped me for a sec, and she repeated the question in response to my confused look. Just when she started to look around for someone to help her, I realized that I understood what she was saying...

I know!! I understand! I want small pearls.
Your chinese is very good!
no, no, it is very bad
no, it is very good, my english is very bad
I can understand a little bit, but my speaking is very bad
no, no, you're chinese is very good, you are expression meaning "good, smart, etc"
expression meaning "I accept your compliment but don't agree with it".
are you a teacher?
yes, I am an english teacher. I don't need a bag (for my tea which was now ready)

I walked away feeling proud as punch about the exchange. It is a similiar exchange to the ones I have daily, but this on flowed well and was all the more profound in light of the following exchange.

I was subbing for Leah and eating some crackers at break time. One fo the students asked for one of my cookies. It is a pet peeve of mine that all Taiwanese people call crackers cookies so I went into the long explaination how cookies are sweet, and have lots of sugar. Crackers are not sweet, and have less sugar.

Two minutes later my student burst back into the room and asked:

Teacher, you say what cookies don't want sugar?

without flinching or blinking or thinking twice

crackers

What is happening to me? Arrgggh! And I am here to teach these people! The following is a forward that is cirulating around Taiwan right now, I have selected the ones that most aply to me, or those around me!

You know you have been in Taiwan Too Long When...

You can order the entire McDonald's menu in Chinese (well the only thing that I eat there)

Someone doesn't stare at you and you wonder why.

You look both ways before crossing the sidewalk.

You see 3 people on a scooter and figure there's room for 2 more.

You stop conjugating verbs.

Firecrackers don't wake you up.

Beer really isn't so expensive. (often cheaper than water)

You often slow down and look both ways before driving through red lights.

"A", "an" and "the" aren't necessary parts of speech.

You know which place has the best noodles and duck meat at 3AM

You speak Chinese to your foreign friends.

Forks feel funny.

Over half of your wardrobe and appliances were purchased at outdoor markets.

You realize that smiling and nodding is Chinese body language for"Go away & leave me alone."

You stare at other foreigners.

Most meaningful conversations take place in doorways or on scooters

It's been at least 18 months since you used the word "tacky" todescribe anything.

250cc is a REALLY BIG motorcycle. (mine is concered big, and it weighs in at a 125cc)

The main reason you stop at 7-11 is to buy tea eggs.(it is what I had for dinner tonight!)

You say "thank you" at least 6 times for everything.

You're very concerned about not losing face. above exchange, all about face...no, no, my chinese is bad, your english is so good!

The words "Ice Cream" never enter your head when you hear the garbage truck.

You stop calling the Guinness Book of Records people each time youkill a giant cockroach.

Given a choice, you would rather squat than sit.