Look at me....two posts in a week!! Woohoo! How are you all going to keep up? hahaha

I have an hour to kill between jobs, and nothing specific to say, so it will be a bit of a ramble; (that semi colon was for you bevis..still working on that tag!) not that my posts are usually anything but!

Still pretty blissed out about life. My new job has its shit, but it is shit I understand. Working in Taiwan you see this whole other side of business, that really seems illogical to the western mind! The school that I am at now is very established with many waigoran (foriegn) teachers. They are more accustomed to the whims of the westeren worker than most schools here. And man, I love the kids!! I have agreed to stay on at my old school for two nights a week, and she has agreed to give me more money...win-win really!

Ex is trying to get a job at this school-he has subbed for me there before. My boss very thoughtfully came to me and asked how I would feel about this (something ex wouldnt think of doing). I told her that it was fine as long as there stuff remained between them. I didnt want to play go-between for them, and she agreed. It really is fine too. We went for lunch and he sought advice and counsel-as he does. I was left wondering what how I ever thought that he was 'the one'. I understand why I was with him, and I have no regrets there! But what I don't understand, is the delusion that there was something BIG there. He could never have lived up to the image of him I had created. I almost feel bad for him, because I think he had known this for quite awhile.

The only 'pang' I had was when I teased him for being hung over on a weekday, and he replied "Well, it was Valintines Day". Now, I don't regret missing out on the grandious romantic gesture of "hey baby, let's go get pissed. I'll buy the first round"! Nor do I even wish him to be single. I just get a pang that it is her, that he definitely started dating her within two months of moving out of here, and I am pretty sure that he was seeing her up to a month before that. I don't have ANY feeling of annomisity towards her, but that relationship represents such raw emotion in me. When I found out he was dating I fell apart. All the delusions came crashing down around me. I was left feeling an idiot. My heart and soul were flung open and left dangle like washing on the line. For the first time in my life I wasn't in control of myself.

The logical side of me appreciates this. I felt like I have never felt before....and I have had my share of shit! I embraced it and made it my own and wouldnt give it up. I also realize that had he not been the insensitive, self serving boy that he is, those delusions may still be in tact...BUT, their relationship still turns a little knife in me. If started dating her now, I would be happy enough for them. If they broke up and he started dating someone new I could fathom having a conversation with her...but as it is I just don't see it. I saw her at the gym last night and my heart leapt.

It doesnt help that the one time that I could have met her was at a party that Ex handled in typical style. Didnt warn her that I would be there (did warn me though), didnt introduce us., left us sitting on opposite sides of a coffee table pretending we were having the times of our lives with the people we were talking to. Poor girl didnt even know anyone there, it was my crowd, who rallied around me and made sure that I always had something to throw my head back and laugh about. She ended up leaving, and he stayed on! This behaviour did not surprise anyone who knew him!!

Anyway, he has just taken up more blogspace than is really warrented for my state of mind, but at this moment it was on my mind. Lunch yesterday, new girlfriend last night, at my work tonight..

In other news...Anyone who has been reading for awhile might remember the post A RAINBOW LEFT TAIWAN. Well said Rainbow is coming back to Taiwan, TOMORROW!! Yay! I am most excited about this. Very cool guy, object of long term, minor crush! When ever we have gone out and I have been a bit too messed, he has been my home base, my goto guy! It is interesting, cause when he left I was in the midst of my heartache. He and I talked about it, and he was a great listener. So much has changed since then! I am excited for him to meet truely happy me! When I think about it, he never has. I havent been truely happy since shortly after Ex joined me in Taiwan. It feels soooooooooooo gooooood!!!!!

Alright, that is my ramble for today! I am off to take my lurvely dog for a walk! I hope you all have a super weekend!