Crazy too!

I had too much to say in response to Leah's post, so I am posting it myself....

Last night James and I went for Chinese valentine's dinner at our favorite Indian restaurant. We sat outside as Pao Pao was with us. Up stumbled an obviously drunk and mentally disturbed Taiwanese man (starting to sound like bad joke....A kiwi, a canuck and their Chinese dog were sitting in an Indian restaurant when a ...) Anyway...It was very surprising as, although you often see people with physical disabilities, you really don't see the 'crazies' or Downs syndrome or any mental disabilities. I have asked about them, and I get the impression that there are a whole lot of institutions, but people don't really talk about it.

Even more surprising was the fact the man spoke a bit of English. He was in his mid-late forties and looking at him you would not guess he was educated. I guess that's the point with mental illness, you can't tell by looking. The guy commented on Pao Pao (he had a dog too) and was looking for interaction, not aggressive like Leah's experience. James quite politely told him that we were eating dinner, goodbye (without making eye contact). I looked up and smiled. As he stumbled away, knocking down the menu board, he told me I was beautiful and left.

I can not not make eye contact. I refuse to not make eye contact. Having just returned from Vancouver I have had a lot of recent exposure to people I 'shouldn't make eye contact with'. Downtown Van is filled with homeless people, drug addicts, pan handlers, crazies, bums, prostitutes, general dredges of society. These people are all part of my community, and are all part of my experience. I am not making any judgment on how other people deal with there own personal situations, but for me I CAN NOT relegate these people to untouchable status. I will politely say "Sorry, no" when asked for money, or sometimes give but I will always give a polite smile and acknowlegement. On more than one occasion this has led to more hassle/harassment than I was bargaining for, but I am willing to risk having to be rude to one person so that I can treat ten more like human beings.

I don't want to give the impression that I am holier than thou. This is not some complete altruistic attitude. Quite early on in my life I decided how I wanted to perceive the world, and the kind of person I wanted to be in it. One of the things I decided on was that I was not going to live in fear of my neighbor, the people on the street. If I am walking down a dark ally and (to emphasize the point in a stereotypical manner) a very large, tough looking African American man walks towards me...Hell a group of them walk towards me, I look up, smile and say good evening. My heart may be racing but I refuse to not. It actually got me in some trouble in Turkey, where I got followed home and grabbed at before I realized that in some cultures it is not a matter of manners, but invitation.

Leah, in your situation I would have done the same though. It is pretty self absorbed to think that there is anything we could do or say to alleviate their distress, or that they have any wish to be helped my some middle class white chick. At that point in time there is nothing more interesting than the eggs on your plate and what Uncle Richard is saying!! I like that you think past "some crazy guy was yelling at me and it was scary" though. I miss you!!