It's in the Jeans!!

My mom is an amazing person...Like a really amazing person! She was married, had two kids, and divorced all my the age of 27. She had a son in and out of jail, and on drugs since the age of 13, but never lost faith in him. She went through an abusive marriage, and not only didn't take it lying down, but left, they sought counseling together and worked past it!! She then saw after two years of nonabusive healthy marriage her husband die in a farm accident. She continued to run the farm for two years after his death, I think mostly because the first thing people wanted to know was when she was going to sell the farm. She is an amazing business woman. She was then diagnosed with cancer...I would like to add that it was caught VERY late because of a certain doctors neglect, and she was not even bitter at him!! After they took the first tumour out and gave her chemo the cancer returned twice in the next two years. They told her they would not do surgery again, this cancer was going to keep coming back so from now on they would fight with radiation and chemo, and she had about 10 years...That was 3.5 years ago, and she has been cancer free since!
Anyway, strong, argumentative, bossy, intelligent, funny, gorgeous...And I get her skill in doing laundry!! (ok I am argumentative and bossy too!!) The lady sucks at doing laundry. By 13 I made her promise not to touch my clothes because red with white, black with white, and checking the pockets HA! I went through a red lipstick stage when I was 16, then I went through a redlipstick smudge on my clothes stage!!!
James and I went to Thailand for Chinese New Year. Amongst other things James got a much needed new pair of jeans, and I got a gorgeous red sarong...I bet you could never guess what happened next! Last weekend we went to Sun Moon Lake. I was washing all our stuff today and guess who has not one, but two tank tops to match his pink jeans!!!! Sorry sweetie!!!

I could post daily about driving in Taiwan...but I had an especially noteworthy drive home from work today. First I had to drive Andrew to the train station after work. The fact that he didn't have a helmut was only relevant in the red lights I chose not to blow....After I dropped him off I slowed at a red light and saw a few people on a little scooter putting along with there lights off so I stopped. Just as I did so another scooter blew the red light and made the loaded scooter have to slow down a little. The driver of the loaded scooter not only honked, but also flipped the speedy fellow the bird. It is so unheard of here that I actually tittered to myself. Then I tittered about the fact that seeing someone flip someone else the bird for blowing a red light and almost hitting them was tit-worthy (huh?).
The thing is, here you don't see that. You really don't see road rage at all. I have seen full accidents where the people brushed themselves off, checked out there scooters, shook hands and drove off. I have seen some scary near misses where both parties just smiled and waved. In Taiwan, the honking of ones horn does not mean "Open your eyes you mother fucking wanker!!" it is more of a "pardon me, coming through" at best it's a "get the hell out of the way, here I come". It is only us "why- gore- ans" that use our horns as a sign of frustration or aggression...or then there is Dave with "What the HELL are you doing?" at the TOP of his lungs!!! It amuses me...

ubdate boy in park

I have seen that sad boy again, twice in fact. The first time I saw him he hurredly said things were much better. Today when I saw him, again seemingly in a hurry, he said that things were getting better all the time. He bugs me a bit because I am not asking a deep meaningful "and how are YOU doing?". It has always been a "hey how's it going?" Maybe he is a bit embarassed about giving his life story to a strory to a stranger in the park. The thing that bugs me is that neither time has he asked "how's it going back"....oh well, at least I know that I gave him the right advice!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

I know that it has been awhile. It has been a rough couple weeks, for all things on Leah's post, as well as a few more. My brother (who will be subject of a future blog in himself) was engaged to be married in Aug. His fiance (who we all love) decided that there were some things that needed work before she would commit, so called off the wedding. My brother was engaged 2 years ago and his fiance (who we did not all love) called off the wedding...poor guy. So between that and my Aunt and Uncle who were cornerstones in our family, my home home has been shook up.
All this is merely my excuse for being neglectful, not the subject of today's blog. Last week, May 12, was my one year in Taiwan. As it often goes, on one hand it seems like just yesterday I stepped off that plane into the soupie air, and on the other it was a lifetime ago. So much has happened, and I have gotten so much out of this experience so far.
This country has not lost its strangeness at all. A day still does not go by that I don't shake my head, either in amazement or confusion, often both. I can't get over the eagerness in which some people of this fine country attemt to communicate. Although the language barrier is HUGE there are always other ways. Charades is now a way of life, as well as creative interpretation of broken English....Yesterday in a restaurant the waitress asked us if "The food enough so to fill?" and the other day we were staring blankly at an all Chinese menu when they finally sent over the one person in the place who spoke a bit of English. I asked what they had for vegetarian food and he explained "sometimes people that who don't want to eat meat" Yes, I KNOW what vegetarian is, I am one, what do you have for me? "Well, this one...I don't know how to say...you know Cinderella?" Ahh yes pumpkin, that sounds delicious (It wasn't) I'll have that.
Now I have to point out that every other worker in that restaurant avoided us like the plague for fear that we would speak to them.
For every person who shouts "Hello, how are you today?" on the street, there is a person who freezes at the sight of us. At my local tea shop I walked up and proudly ordered "pou tow yo lu cha, bou yow tang" (grapefruit green tea, without sugar). The frightful young thing just stared at me, so I repeated slower and more carefully "pou tow yo lu cha, bou yow tang". He began to look extremely uncomfortable, looked around out of the corner of his eyes and muttered something in Chinese. As I opened my mouth to repeat a third time two other workers, and one other customer literally shouted in unison "POU TOW YO LU CHA, BOU YOW TANG!!" and the customer leaned over to me, patted my arm and said "very good!"
One of the things I appreciate most about being in Taiwan is that it is the first time Leah and I have REALLY got to know each other. It feels a bit like 'our time'. Growing up we always had a connection, but I am that bit older, that seems like so much more when you are kids. The splitting of our families sent us in different directions until my early twenties and her late teens. Now we are cousins, neighbors, friends, and fellow members of the bubble. Friday night, almost on cue to reinforce our one year together we had a big Lea/La night. The boys were going over to Andrew's place for a few beer, so we went for a walk. When we got home we pulled out the Scrabble board, but decided we needed a bottle of red wine. As we cracked our second bottle at about 3 am (boys still not home) the talk turned to drugs and pills, and the fact that the boys had one and well why not! When the boys arrived shortly after 5 am (stolen Starbuck's umbrella and table in hand) we were mostly just drunk, and I am not sure that they really believed us!! They started to pass out close to 6 and after a bit of cajoling, we convinced Dave to give us his hidden pill. Another walk, for 3 hours. Higher than kites, puppy in hand, loving Taiwan. People line dancing to Chinese music in the park. Lady-boy giving 'cha cha cha' dance lessons to a middle aged house wife, music blaring from an amp. Smiling and saying hello to all the early birds, pouring rain, drenched, people looking at us like we were nuts, feeling SO naughty, giggling, bonding, green trees, look up really fast "whoa!" Us getting back to us. It's easy to drift when we both have boys, and jobs, and other friends. It was good, we needed it. It reaffirmed a lot of things. It was FUN!!! Thank God for Lea!!! Thank God for Taiwan!!!

Spritual Ponderings

We were lying in bed and for some reason we both started to recite our evening prayer's of childhood. They were almost the same...

Now I lay me
Down to sleep
I pray the Lord
My soul to keep
And if I die before I wake
I pray the Lord
My soul to take.

Both our prayers went on to list various family members to bless. When I was reciting mine to James I had a flash of memory from age six. I know it was six because we were still in the house with 'the gully' which we moved from when mom and dad split. I really think that it is such a telling memory. My prayer used to end with "and all my cousins, Amen". At seven I realized that this wasn't enough. What about the people in the world that are not in my family. Why should they not be blessed just because I don't know and love them? I added "and everybody in the whole world". Soon that wasn't enough either. I felt a spiritual connection with animals, and talked to trees, My God!! What about my teddy bears???? So then "everybody and everything in the whole world". During that same time period I remember being quite distraut over the devil. I mean the poor misunderstood guy, he just did some bad things, he's can't be all bad. I prayed for the devil on several occasions as a child!!!

I realize now that my dad is atheist/agnostic and my mother is more of a let's debate the bible over a couple of glasses of wine kind of Christian rather than go to church. They took us to church as kids because they thought it was the right thing to do as kids. It wasn't so much a Christian upbringing, although a lot of Christian ideals were instilled.

Because I never had a strong home push, my interest in Christianity ebbed and flowed. During junior high I went to church with some neighbors, and in high school I went a few times with some friends. I always believed in the teachings, but always took them as metaphors, and never really felt comfortable in the structure of the church.

I remember the moment that I lost It . I won't say my faith, because I have big Faith. I lost my religion (thanks Michael!!!) sitting at my step father's funeral. He was an atheist, and in my high school Christian 'flow' I remember begging him, and crying myself to sleep over his soul. He never even wanted a church funeral, but he wasn't supposed to die before his parents. My mom had a church service for them. Some guy stood up there claiming to have know Alexis since he was 6, and "who ever shall believeth in him will not perish and have everlasting life". This man went on to elaborate telling us all how those who believed will go to some glorious place in the sky, and those who didn't were going get lucky door number two....eternal damnation!! Alexis was a good man, a really good man. This guy stood up there telling me, at his funeral, that he was going to hell. My God would not do that.

I now don't have a name for my God (god(s)/(ess)) anymore. I believe in being good to other people. I believe in random acts of kindness. I believe in honesty except when it is going to hurt someone's feelings at no gain to them. I believe in getting back what you put out there. Not so much in the karma way but in the way that you give a smile you get one, you give a scowl and you get back a scowl. I believe in doing what is best for my own body and soul. Not because I feel like I am being judged but because we are given one life, and it is important to live it to its fullest!

I am comfortable with my spirituality, although I can't name it. I don't feel like I am searching for more, although always learning and growing. I feel closest to it when I am in nature, although when I walk down the sidewalk and I see a daisy poking through the concrete it makes me smile, and I tell people about it.

There are so many religions out there. I think that real Faith is one of the most beautiful things there is, I could just never pick one doctrine to be Right. Each person does what they have to do to get by in this mad world, and hopefully we all find a little Peace in that process!!!